I had a conversation a couple of days ago, I was listening to 2 parents talk about their adult children. They were referencing about how they had moved out, but that they tend to transition back home often! I asked how old they were, and their ages were 25 and 22, and then I asked THAT question???? Are they girls or boys? Response….GIRLS! Now all my comments I had made at this point, I had to eat because I feel very different about girls being at home than boys.
I do believe that girls/daughters should ALWAYS have the option to come home, PERIOD! I purchased my first home at 23, just because once I became a parent to a daughter I always wanted her to know she had a stable environment, and that my home would always be her home. To be honest, this came from a childhood scar that I gained while growing up. I never wanted my daughters to feel dependent on anyone especially a man, or have to stay in a bad situation, knowing that I would not let them come home. At this time I have a 4 bedroom house, and a guest bedroom. When they leave I will not downsize, and I will keep their rooms furnished and comfortable. Now for my manchild, it is a little different. As a mother who wants her manchild to be self-sufficient and a provider, I do expect him to stand on his own two feet. Yes, he can come home from college, or for a short while he gets his bearings together, but there is a defined timeline and task he will need to complete in order for him to effectively transition into adulthood and stand on his own, anything less than that I will be doing a disservice to him. Yes, maybe I have some old time values, in thinking my daughters should marry from my home, or just that I am always to protect them, nevertheless that is my stance on this topic.
So let’s talk or debate, as many children are on their way to college, the transition is happening, but we know going away to college is just the first step, once they graduate successfully, secure placement in their chosen careers, can they come back home? Can they stay with you given a time limit? Can both your girls and boys come home? Do you and your husband or significant other have the same perspective?